• Julia Evans

This shell holds my broken heart….

My heart may not look broken from where you stand, looking at me from your outside view; but the truth is…. underneath this exterior, this shell still holds my broken heart. It has been broken at many levels: body, mind & spirit and I am the one who gets to hear it, feel it and fear the turmoil it holds inside, every moment of every day. Ever since my reboot/re-birth, the day I came back to life, my heart has been trying to find its rightful place and home. It's been trying to fit back into this shell and world that it got damaged from in the first place - the shock to my system still ricochets within my cells and systems, and my heart still holds the memories to all of my broken pieces. 

As I was leaving the hospital after getting yet another heart monitor placed upon my chest, I came across this quote; it was on a picture in the gift store and I had to buy it for my home  - “Life can take you to unexpected places, Love brings us home.”

This quote really hit home for me, it made my heart skip and allowed me to reflect on what I have gone through since coming back to life. 

❤️ Where is home? Home is where your heart rests. It’s where you can live, laugh and learn. It’s somewhere where you are loved, respected and cared for. Love will bring us home, but the love we have within our heart does not want to be boxed up within four corners of any particular house; it wants to be at a place it can rest and breathe. It wants to feel love and to spread its wings to share that love with those around it. Feeling, sharing and spreading love; creating a rippling effect of a radiating light and love. 

So as my heart jumps and skips a beat, it’s trying to remind me of all the love within it that wants to be shared with the world. It wants to surround itself with love and peace. And when it finds its way back home to a place it is meant to be, that’s when it can rest, be still, calm and heal. 

I was taken to a place unexpectedly on May 10, 2018; I was brought to a place like no-other - a place of love and it was the love of my family which  brought me back home. This is where I am to rest and can heal from everything I have gone through. 

I was given another chance at life and this quote on this random picture reminded me of the journey I am on. So, as I am reminded of being taken to this unexpected place, I believe in my heart that it will come home again - for love brings us home. 

I have been given another chance at life and as my heart absorbs this quote, it reminds me that home is where your heart is and the love that surrounds it will help it heal and then bring me home. I am here to share the love that is within - not to confine it to the walls of my shell. For that is all it is - a temporary shell to house my soul. And this shell and it’s pieces can and have broken - my heart is still healing. 

Mahatma Gandhi said it best, “Where there is love, there is life.” 

I live my life the best way I know how and I have love around me, within me and raditinating from me. My broken heart will heal with the love in my home and where I am able to rest. 


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